You never know who’s watching, learning, or being inspired by you at any given moment. Leadership is often described as a position of responsibility, vision, and influence. But what’s less frequently emphasized is the subtle, almost invisible ways leaders and liminal leaders (those who lead and follow simultaneously) impact those around them. Whether you’re in a corner office, training recruits at a police academy, managing a team in the field, or simply leading by example in a community event, your behavior matters—often more than you realize.
We Remember Significant Influence
I was having coffee with a friend who had been a Recruit Training Officer (RTO) at the regional police academy over twenty-five years ago. He told me about being at his granddaughter’s soccer game when a man he was sitting nearby said, “You don’t remember me do you?” This is always a statement of concern when you’ve been a cop for any length of time, because you have interacted with so many people, and not always for a positive reason. My friend said, “No, I’m sorry I don’t.” The man then told my friend that he was in the police academy with him. They discussed which class it was and determined that this man was in a different RTO’s academy class at the same time my friend was an RTO at the same academy, so not in my friend’s class. My friend was a little shocked that this person remembered him and said, “Why would he remember me, I wasn’t even his RTO?”
My answer was, “But you were an RTO!” As a police recruit in the academy every RTO has a very significant amount of influence because the RTO is the role model. In terms of socialization, the RTO is the ideal mental image or “group prototype” of how that person sees themselves in the future. I also explained to my friend the Observational Learning Theory shows how people learn behavior by observing others, particularly those they view as role models. These role models can be parents, teachers, peers, or even public figures. Through observation and imitation, individuals internalize the norms and values demonstrated by these significant people. Which is why you always want your best people doing the training. So, even 25 years later he would remember you, where you may not necessarily remember them.
Influence Beyond Words
While words can inspire, encourage, motivate and direct, actions carry even greater weight when it comes to influencing behavior. People tend to observe their leaders very closely, sometimes consciously and more frequently subconsciously, for cues on how to behave when responding to challenges, handling conflict, and upholding values.
When leaders align their actions with their stated values, they demonstrate integrity and create a foundation of reliability. This congruence reassures followers that the leader is genuine and consistent, fostering a culture of respect and accountability (referent power). Conversely, when there is a difference between what a leader says and what the leader does, it can lead to confusion, mistrust, and diminished morale. This discrepancy signals hypocrisy or a lack of commitment to shared goals. Leaders set the tone for their organization, and their alignment of words and actions serves as a powerful example for others to follow. But remember, communication is 93% non-verbal and only 7% actual words that are used. So people will be paying attention to the actions and behaviors more than the words and definitely more than most people realize which is a major form of influence.
This influence is amplified in leadership roles, where the stakes are higher and every action is scrutinized. As an example, how you handle pressure sets the tone for how your team approaches stress and adversity. Your work ethic serves as a benchmark for others’ performance. The way you treat people—from colleagues to clients—defines the culture of respect and referent influence within your organization.
I once had a police Captain who, when he became angry or frustrated, would act out by kicking garbage cans in the office, throwing pens, files, things, etc. The joke was, “Don’t tell Captain [name removed], you’ll literally get kicked out of his office.”
The Ripple Effect of Behavior
Think of your behavior as a stone cast into a still pond. Even the smallest action can create ripples that extend far beyond your immediate surroundings. A casual comment or seemingly minor action might inspire or discourage someone in ways you never intended.
As an example, the same friend I was having coffee with told me about one of his academy recruits who he had contact with a few months ago. He said he remembered this person, but didn’t realize how much of an impact he had. The “recruit” was now an Interim Police Chief who told my friend that because of the influence my friend had with him in the academy, he now has a son and daughter in law enforcement also. Wow, talk about a ripple effect!
Influence in Unexpected Moments
Some of the most impactful leadership moments occur outside of planned meetings or formal communications. A chance encounter in the hallway, how you react to a setback, or your demeanor during casual conversations can leave lasting impressions. These moments, though fleeting, often reveal your true character to those observing you. When I teach my leadership classes we talk about values, and how your values create your character. Then I ask this question: What is your character? The class participants usually spend a few seconds thinking about this and then someone usually comes up with the right answer: “Your character is how you behave, when nobody else is around or would know.”
Behaviors in exigencies, or emergencies, are a great testament to a leader’s character because these are situations where the leader doesn’t really have the time to make cognitively evaluate how they are behaving and just act based on their “character.” Sa an example, a leader who remains calm during a crisis, for instance, can inspire confidence in their team, even if they themselves are scared or uncertain about the outcome. Captain Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger III is the pilot who became internationally renowned for successfully landing a commercial airplane on the Hudson River. On January 15, 2009, he was the captain of US Airways Flight 1549, an Airbus A320, which suffered a catastrophic bird strike shortly after takeoff from New York City's LaGuardia Airport. The bird strike caused both engines to lose power, leaving the plane without thrust. Realizing they would not make it back to an airport, Captain Sullenberger and his co-pilot, Jeffrey Skiles, made the critical decision, against procedure and protocol, to perform an emergency landing on the Hudson River.
When Captain Sullenberger made this decision, to “land” the plane on the Hudson River, which saved every person’s life, he didn’t evaluate how he would be viewed by the FAA while acting at the time of the emergency. This is the kind of instance where your behavior influences others much more than people consider it ever would.
On the other hand, a leader who openly displays frustration or panic may inadvertently signal that the situation is unmanageable, leading to decreased morale and productivity. An example of a leader displaying the behaviors of frustration or panic and inadvertently signaling that a situation is unmanageable can be seen in the 2008 financial crisis. Specifically with Lehman Brothers' CEO Richard Fuld, during the lead-up to the company's collapse. Fuld’s inconsistent and emotionally charged behavior responses to mounting pressure sent mixed signals to employees and stakeholders. Reports indicated that his public frustration with the market's reactions and inability to project confidence in the company's strategy amplified internal uncertainty and fear.
Instead of conveying calm and decisive leadership, Fuld's visible distress and erratic handling of the crisis contributed to a loss of confidence among employees, investors, and the broader financial community. This atmosphere of panic eroded morale, undermined productivity, and exacerbated the company's decline. The lack of a composed and reassuring leadership approach during such a critical time is often cited as a contributing factor to Lehman Brothers' failure.
Modeling Behavior
The concept of "modeling" is central to effective leadership and effective followership. Leaders and liminal leaders set the standard for behavior, and their followers or teams often mirror those standards. If you prioritize collaboration, accountability, and a positive attitude, your team is likely to follow suit. But if you neglect these qualities, you may find them absent in your organization as well.
To model the appropriate behaviors you want in your followers or teams, consider the following:
Be Consistent: Inconsistency breeds confusion and mistrust. Ensure your actions align with your words and values. Remember your values make up your character.
Display Accountability: When you make a mistake, own up to it. This vulnerability can inspire others to do the same.
Demonstrate Empathy: Show that you understand and appreciate the perspectives of others, even during disagreements. This display of empathy also encourages the others to display empathy in return.
Communicate Respectfully: Even in tough conversations, how you speak to others sets the tone for professionalism. Communication in a professional setting should follow the “3P’s & A of Communication;” Polite, Professional, Productive, and Appropriate.
The Lasting Impact of Influence
As a leader, your influence doesn’t end when the workday does. It extends into the lives of your followers and others you lead, shaping their confidence, decision-making, and even their career trajectories, like what happened to my friend at coffee. A supportive leader who believes in their follower’s potential can change someone’s entire outlook, empowering them to achieve more than they thought possible. On the flip side, a leader who disregards the impact of their behavior may unintentionally hinder growth or foster a negative work environment. This isn’t just about achieving organizational goals; it’s about the lasting influence you leave on people’s lives. The two people my coffee friend was talking about were police academy recruits when he interacted with, and influenced them. Not only did both of them remember my friend, now one is a lieutenant with the local Sheriff’s Office and the other, as I said earlier, is an acting Chief of Police, and applicant for the full time position and both mentioned how he had an impact on them.
Conclusion
Leadership is much more than just strategy, delegation, or decision-making. Leadership, liminal leadership (leading and following simultaneously) and followership are about the influence of the behaviors that define who you are, your values, your character, and your purpose that people see. You never know who’s watching, learning, or being inspired by you at any given moment. By exemplifying the behaviors and qualities you wish to see in others, you can create a positive, lasting influence that resonates far beyond your immediate role, even when you don’t know you are doing it.
Remember, your behavior as a leader is about inspiring and influencing. Both can be found in the smallest, most unassuming behaviors in moments when you least expect it and you may never even know you are influencing others.
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